Hey Mama,
If you’re stepping into unschooling or transitioning your child from traditional school, you may have heard about deschooling. And sometimes, parents imagine it like a big red reset button: step away from school for a few weeks, relax, and suddenly everything clicks.
The kids relax, self-direct, “find themselves,” and a few weeks later, learning magically begins.
But here’s the truth: it doesn’t work that way.
When kids first come home from school, what usually happens is:
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They rest.
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They watch TV or streaming shows.
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They play video games or computer games.
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They scroll on devices.
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They hang out on the couch.
And after a couple of weeks, parents start to panic:
“This can’t really be what we’re supposed to be doing, right?”
“They’re just vegging out.”
“When does the real learning start?”
“My kids are so unmotivated!”
I want you to know this: all brains are always learning.
Even when it looks like “nothing is happening,” kids are thinking, processing, and observing. They might be:
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Following storylines on TV or streaming shows
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Learning strategy, problem-solving, or teamwork in video games or computer games
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Reading, listening, or picking up language, humor, and social cues from shows, games, or online interactions
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Reflecting on what excites them and imagining new ideas
And here’s something amazing: we are naturally drawn to things that capture our attention, and that’s exactly how kids learn too.
They don’t need pressure, checklists, or tests to be curious. They explore what excites them. They follow their interests. And when they do, something magical happens:
They retain it. They master it. They know it deeply — often more than anything else.
Think about your own hobbies or passions. How much effort have you put into learning what fascinates you? How naturally do you absorb details, skills, and nuances — simply because it excited you? That’s exactly how kids learn when they follow their curiosity.
What Deschooling Really Is
Deschooling isn’t passive. It’s not just stepping back and waiting for magic.
It’s a bridge — from a school-shaped life to a life that actually fits your child.
It looks like:
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Baking brownies together while watching a show
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Diving into a TV series, discussing storylines, or exploring a favorite character
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Playing video games or computer games together — noticing strategy, problem-solving, or teamwork
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Exploring hobbies, interests, or passions alongside your child
The point isn’t control. The point is connection.
Through these moments, parents learn:
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What excites their kids
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How to spark curiosity naturally
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How to help them see the world as full of things worth exploring
Parents Need Deschooling Too
Deschooling isn’t just for kids. Parents also have “school habits” to unlearn:
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Timelines and deadlines
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Checklists and comparisons
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The idea that learning has to look a certain way
That uncomfortable “lay-around” phase isn’t because learning isn’t happening — it’s because school thinking is still loud in your own mind.
Deschooling is ongoing. It’s noticing old assumptions and deciding which ones serve your family. Kids grow and change. Parents grow and change. And the process unfolds over time.
Why Deschooling Matters
Unschooling kids don’t live small lives. They live full, rich, individualized lives.
Deschooling is the bridge from a school-shaped life to one where curiosity leads. When children are free to explore their interests — whether it’s TV shows, video games, computer games, books, or hobbies — learning becomes effortless, joyful, and deep.
Think of it like Dorothy stepping out of black-and-white Kansas into the colorful world of Oz. It’s not instant. It’s not always neat. But it’s magical.
So if your child is vegging out on the couch with a game or a show, remember: they are learning. They are discovering. They are growing. And when they follow what excites them, they learn in ways that last a lifetime.
Relax. Trust your kids. Trust the process. Celebrate curiosity. That’s where real learning lives.
You’ve got this, mama. 🩷